How to Write a Successful Story Without Losing Your Mind (A Handy Guide)

by Angel

So, you’ve come here for help writing your novel/short-story huh?  Well don’t worry, I’m here!  Obviously, you should trust me because I know exactly what I’m talking about.  So, without further ado, lets get this show on the road!  (or these words on the book, I don’t know.)

Step one:  Locate proper writing area

Preferably not your bed, you might fall asleep writing a boring chapter.  I’d recommend a locked closet or maybe a shower.  Anywhere that you can get away from your siblings or parents who will both distract you with nonsense or maybe Chick-fil-a.  Okay your sitting down?  Are you ready?  Oh wait, you’re not.  You need to get something to write with silly!

Step two:  Writing utensils

 A laptop would be a good option (unless you’re really in a shower in which case I would not recommend that). Of course notebooks always work!  Or a good old-fashioned typewriter!  You can get on your detective coat and a fedora and write about three children who encounter terrible tragedies.  I’m getting off topic though – things to write with.  Maybe a Quill and some parchment will suffice, especially if your writing about the 18th century.  Really gets you in the mood.  Okay you found something?  Great go back to your writing area. 

Step three:  Actually write

Alright, now you have your stuff to write with and a place to do it in.  Congratulations, the hard part is over!  Now all you have to do is write!  No social media, no games, no books.  It is now just you and your words.  No more texting; why need friends when you could just write your own!  Writers block?  Do you really have it though?  I see you with Netflix and YouTube open on your other tab.  Stop watching Stranger things and write ‘Watermelon’ until you get bored enough to write something else.  Writers block = Cured.  You’re welcome!

Step four:  Maintain proper health

Okay you’ve been writing for a while now, I think it’s time for a break.  Go drink a glass of water and get a snack.  What do you eat you say?  Something good for your brain.  Maybe some sardines mixed in mayonnaise and ranch dressing; sounds very brain healthy.  Or splurge and open a can of pringles.  Now is also a good time to watch some Netflix and text your loved ones so they know that your still alive.

Step five:  Knowing when to stop

Okay, calm down.  Your going to burn out, take a deep breath.  Wipe those tears off your face and take a break.  Drink a cup of water and hug your pet.  If you don’t have a pet (Or you do but you can’t hug it because it’s a fish) hug your pillow.  Then scream into it, throw something, set your house on fire.  Do all those things except the last one because your mom isn’t going to be very happy when she gets home, and everything is ash.  Okay, I’ve got a good way to release your pent-up aggression from writing.  Get a piece of paper. Now write down all of the stuff that you didn’t like about that stupid chapter.  Now rip it up and stomp on it!  Spit on it and flush it down the toilet.  Good job, you have successfully finished writing for the day!

The conclusion.

Thanks for getting this far!  I’m sorry if you thought this would be helpful, that’s what you get for trusting an 8th grader, I guess.  Okay but in all seriousness, I had a ton of fun writing this.  Writing shouldn’t be a hassle, so if you need a break then take one.  There, that’s the help I’m giving.  I just joined this club, and everyone seems super nice!  I’m also in book club so maybe I’ll see some of you there!  Thank you and have a good day!

About the Author: Angel is in the 8th grade and loves reading and writing. She also has an unhealthy Netflix addiction and a serious procrastination problem. When not falling into a binge-watching stupor she enjoys hanging out with her black cat, Sirius Black, and writing on her blog:

3 thoughts on “How to Write a Successful Story Without Losing Your Mind (A Handy Guide)

  1. WOAH. thats so great help. Honestly, you somehow managed to put humor into that. I had so much fun reading it. also, i guess ur a harry potter fan, too? Serius black is a nice name for a black cat.


  2. “…write about three children who encounter terrible tragedies.” is that a series of unfortunate events reference i see?


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